But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

15.9.12

It must've been tough keeping up with crazy fools like us.

How's that for getting bitch-slapped in the face by nostalgia?

--

I've been really exhausted lately. Exhausted and stressed and sick and tired and, most of all, lonely. I feel so detached from everybody. I have absolutely no idea what's draining my energy. I don't know what to do anymore. In a way, it's like back in '09.

Maybe that's my biggest flaw. I can't let go. I can't move on. I can forgive, hell, I forgive too much. But I can never, ever, forget. I can't get over things. I can't help but unwillingly relive the jolts of disappointment or the sound of uncorrupted laughter or the brief moments where, for once, I believed I knew what happiness was. I can't stop wondering about what could've been and what would've been. Nostalgia hangs around me like the dust hangs around the city - it's inevitable, inescapable. And because of this, I will always end up to where I started. 

I can't. 

I can't live like this anymore.

I don't have the strength to move on. I never had, and I can't promise that I ever will. But one thing's for certain, though. I never regretted anything.