But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

22.9.12

This week, I:

  • received a gorgeous notebook from Mandork and Panpan the Panda from Zhen, 
  • successfully socialised amongst my schoolmates (and enjoyed it),
  • babysat 10 teenagers for half an hour, 
  • witnessed Aaron Luke win an award, 
  • accused Pn Shaja of being a super spy and/or an assassin, 
  • had an all-out cat fight with Winshean, 
  • went out for lunch with him and Mother, and
  • had Amanda translate 4 pages of history into Manglish.


If this moment isn't something to be eternally grateful for, I don't know what is.

16.9.12

We're different, you and I. We're different in so many ways, but that makes us more alike than ever. You're iridescent. And so am I.

But do you know the one thing that you certainly are and I certainly am not?

You're significant.

Iridescent and silhouetted against my own will.
I'm surprised people even remember my name at the end of the day.

Iridescent and significant.
Now, who'd forget such magic?

15.9.12

It must've been tough keeping up with crazy fools like us.

How's that for getting bitch-slapped in the face by nostalgia?

--

I've been really exhausted lately. Exhausted and stressed and sick and tired and, most of all, lonely. I feel so detached from everybody. I have absolutely no idea what's draining my energy. I don't know what to do anymore. In a way, it's like back in '09.

Maybe that's my biggest flaw. I can't let go. I can't move on. I can forgive, hell, I forgive too much. But I can never, ever, forget. I can't get over things. I can't help but unwillingly relive the jolts of disappointment or the sound of uncorrupted laughter or the brief moments where, for once, I believed I knew what happiness was. I can't stop wondering about what could've been and what would've been. Nostalgia hangs around me like the dust hangs around the city - it's inevitable, inescapable. And because of this, I will always end up to where I started. 

I can't. 

I can't live like this anymore.

I don't have the strength to move on. I never had, and I can't promise that I ever will. But one thing's for certain, though. I never regretted anything.